If you have an abundance of money, please send $1,400 my way.
You see, my favorite animal on the planet is the three-toed sloth. It's the perfect pet. Put it in the middle of your living room. Go to work for eight hours. Come home. It's still in the middle of your living room. It only poops like once every three weeks. And, they are surprisingly good swimmers. So if you're worried about the algae that grows on them from lack of movement, well, just toss it in a bathtub.
Awhile back (years, probably) I scoured the internet looking for someone who would sell me a sloth. I searched high and low, to no avail. I did, however, find a plethora of other animals for sale. Animals like chimps, monkeys, giraffes, and big cats.
While searching today (at work, hehe) I found someone in Texas with sloths! For sale! For $1,400. So, if you would like to contribute to The Greatest Pet of All-Time Fund, please send me money.
2 comments:
I'll contribute. I haven't bought your birthday present this year. I might even throw in a little bit extra just for the sake of having a brother with a sloth. However, you'd probably still need to come up with, like, 1300. Let me know if you get that much.
Is a sloth like the guy from Ice Age? If so he's cute! I can't wait for pictures.
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