To M-CAT

Dear Matthew,

Your brother is older than you, so perhaps I should write of him first, but sadly, I do not know how much time I have to write of you. You are completely unaware of the situation surrounding you right now. You have no idea what those who love you are going through. It is better this way. The one thing I wish you could be aware of is just how many prayers have been uttered on your behalf. They are countless, I can assure you of that.

I guess I'll explain your nickname first. You see, I'm the cool uncle. The one that makes up weird names. Your brother has many: G-Man, G-Money, G-Funk, and Little G, to name a few. Of course you needed one too. I came up with M-CAT. You know, like the medical test or something like that. Maybe someday you'll take it. You also have a character in your likeness on my Wii, and you are always a hit no matter who is playing. My friend and I were playing baseball, and when you came up to bat, he said, "Come on, M-CAT!" Your popularity spans multiple states, little guy.

I will never forget the day I met you. You see, your grandparents, aunt, brother, and I were at a hotel in Long Beach waiting for you to be born. Your brother had just settled down for a nap when your grandma's phone rang. I was closest to the bathroom, so I took the call in there so as to not wake your brother. Your mommy's voice was on the other end. All she said was, "Is mom there?" I could tell something was wrong. Come to find out, there was a lady at the hospital claiming to be your biological grandmother. She said her son wanted you.

The rest of the day was absolutely crazy. That is probably the understatement of the century. There was uncertainty, anxiety, and anger. All of that disappeared for the few minutes I got to spend with you in the hospital room. You were so tiny, yet a little chub. Your eyelids looked like they were storing nuts for the winter. It was adorable:



I have to tell you that of all the people in the room with you, you looked the most like me. Your parents and brother are just way to pale. You were rockin' and Uncle Jon-esque tan, my friend. Yours is a little more permanent, and has since gotten darker, but on that night, we looked pretty close:



We couldn't stay with you very long, for reasons I will never fully understand nor attempt to explain. Leaving you was literally one of the hardest things I've done. You see, your brother did not want to leave you. He already loved you so much, and he wanted to stay with "Baby Matthew." But grandpa, grandma, Aunt Heather, and I had to take him and we all had to leave. Between seeing your brother ahead of me in the hallway and looking over my shoulder at your mommy's face, it was way too much. I cried. A lot.

M-CAT, I am not a crier. Anyone who knows me at all can attest to that. I think that's a good way to tell how much you mean to someone else. If they aren't a crier, yet they cry over you, you are a very special little dude. And I'm not even the one who loves you the most. There is so much love in this world for you.

I have not seen you much since you were born. I think its actually only been once. For that, I am sorry. I know it's nobody's fault, but I'm sorry nonetheless. I was blessed to see your brother grow up before he moved away, and I haven't had that chance with you. But I read your mommy's blog and look at the pictures she posts. You're already growing up way too fast. You still have chubby little eyelids (or the part of your face near them anyway) and I hope you never lose those. You're way tanner than me these days, but I think you're supposed to be.



From a human sense, your future is uncertain. I'm sorry for that. But there is something more certain than you know. I am certain that God loves you and has a plan for you. Even when we can't see it or understand it, His plan is better than anything we can come up with. I am certain there are many people who love you very much, and those people always will.

M-CAT, I look forward to watching you grow. Someday, I will teach you how to play basketball and how to be sarcastic. Just don't grow up too fast, okay?

I love you, dude.

Uncle J-Diddy

*To M-CAT's Mommy: I'm sorry if this made you sad. I'm praying for you. And yes, while I was typing this, I cried.*