2011. Seriously? I remember ringing in 2000 at my friend's house in high school. Now I'm old. Neat.
Here are some things I wish would not accompany me into the new year.
Reality TV - It just needs to stop. Dancing with the Formerly Famous People Desperate for a Paycheck. Still "Surviving" on an Island by Eating Nothing But Rats. The Real Idiots of (Insert Rich Hometown Here). Just make it all go away.
Lady Gaga - You are what is wrong with anything that has ever gone wrong in the history of the world. The BP oil spill. That puppy found in a dumpster with its ears cut off. Childhood obesity. All her fault.
LeBron James - No one cares. Except for sportswriters who claim they don't care but write about you every six seconds to earn another buck. Narcissist.
Leggings Pretending to be Pants - I don't understand this. I never will.
Governments Doing a Parent's Job - Nice job, San Francisco. You just bailed out all those deadbeat parents who have never said "no" to their kids. Here's an idea: if your kid wants a Happy Meal, and you don't want them to have one, say...what's that word again?...the one you say when you don't want someone to have something? But no, your city just bans the meal altogether because it's easier that way.
Annoying Facebook Status Updates - Nobody cares that you are eating a burrito. Nobody cares that you just got another pig on your farm. Nobody cares about how great your 2011 will be. Here's a hint: if you don't vastly change yourself, your 2011 will be as bad as you think your 2010 was. Stop posting on Facebook and go change the things you think were bad. Now I really want a burrito.
Guys Wearing Girl's Jeans - How do you even walk in those things? Reduced blood flow, much?
This is by no means an exhaustive list. And it sounds really negative. Oops.
I wish you a happy and healthy new year. May God bless you in innumerable ways. Unless you listen to Lady Gaga.
5 comments:
Ok maybe a lil' negative but pretty funny and true. This is what males us all different our likes and dislikes. I think alot of guys agree with you. I know my boyfriend does. Hey i just ate eggs Benedict and i think my 2011 is going to be wonderful! ;-)
I agree with all except the leggings/pants - I think they're cute :) Well, I don't particularly care either way about Lebron, but other than that.
I think now you should write a list about all the things you are looking forward to in 2011 :)
Well said my friend. I agree with all except leggings and Lady Gaga. She's a nut, but I like her music. I don't think the list is necessarily negative, just wishful thinking! And hilarious! If it will help, I would like to add to the list the following:
-Obama (Too bad there's still two more years)
-Stupid corporate decisions. But I'm not gonna hold my breath.
-Shows about vampires. Now it's just kicking a dead horse.
-Kanye West. No need to elaborate.
The real negative side is that all of this will probably not go away in 2011 :( If only we had a lamp w a genie inside...
Carrie
Carrie - I was gonna say Obama too, but didn't want Secret Service breaking down my door for saying I don't want him around this year. Shows about vampires...yep, that horse is dead. Like ten times already. Oh wait, I can't agree with you on anything. You like Lady Gaga. Next time I see you at work and run the other way, don't be offended. Or do. Either way.
Haha! You running the other way won't be any more embarrassing than when I thought you were waving at me but really you weren't! Classic! But look how much fun that turned out to be! Now I get a big wave regularly! So maybe this means now you'll be tracking me down to say hi! Haha! Man life is funny!
Carrie
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